New Year, Different Dog

This has been my refrain since his surgery, he's not the same, and no matter how I try to figure out what is different, I can't.  I see glimpses of what he was like before the surgery only to disappear a day later.  I can't put my finger on what makes him different.  Maybe it's his sleeping so much which has been a ton since the surgery. But I have to remember we are only 3 weeks post op so that is not that much in recovery time to see him feeling more like himself.  But then I think, dogs recover much faster than we do, but how do I know how much recovery he's undergone, when he can't "tell" me that? I know a part of the return of my dog is the hearing loss, because if you can't hear your world, you are not as engaged with it. If sounds are stimulators as they can be, then not having any sound creates a kind of silent world, where you don't hear anything so you can't react to it.  He can't hear our voices, the sound of the cabinet where his food is or the sound of other dogs barking, so he doesn't have the interaction he once had.  Also he can't hear the sounds that cue him into the next thing in his life, so there is no next thing, until we move around the house and begin showing him things we're about to do...then the old Diggie Dog comes a bit more out of his shell. Do dogs feel depression when they can't hear? Do they feel left out? Do they feel down because they are alone in their silence? Do we understand deafness in dogs? These are questions I have but no one seems to know the answer and I haven't found too many veterinarians who have had words of wisdom about this. They just shrug their shoulders and say well, dogs learn to adapt very well to their environment and their disabilities. But how do we know that?  Just because he continues to do his thing, does that mean he's happy? I wanted him to be healthy and happy, but I wasn't expecting the change in the personality of my dog.
I want my old Mack back as they say. I want that spark that he had, the fire in his eyes and the little swing of his tail and the wagging and giddiness he had when arrived back after an absence.  He barely knows we're there but he's shown signs of coming to the door knowing that we're coming in, and we haven't figured out what cues he's using to figure that out yet, but he is trying.  It's a silent world he lives in and yet at times we swear he can hear something. He can hear a whistle but it's as if he doesn't know which direction it's coming from and he can hear a clap or loud noise but he often turns and looks in a different direction than the sound.  We keep hoping when the swelling goes down the hearing will improve and the veterinarian said there is a remote possibility this could happen and we are hanging on to that hope.
I think we're still dealing with his deafness and that we didn't know it could happen. We were not told about this kind of thing because it doesn't happen often, but now we have to deal with it and what issues come with it.  We pray that his vision stays clear and he can see us, because that would really complicate things. I can't imagine having a blind and deaf dog to contend with when he can't see you or smell you or hear you.  When I'm in my darkest moments about all of this, and there are still times that lurk behind my heart, I've asked myself was it worth it to do this to him?  I haven't gotten an answer yet because my Diggie Dog is here with me and for the most part he is doing well.  He still wants his food, his treats and his bed and he snuggles close and licks my face and hands and looks up at me with those big brown beautiful eyes and there is a connection there.  We can't know what would have happened if we'd chosen not to do anything because we didn't let that happen.  But he is different and I can't put my finger on what makes him different. Maybe one day he will seem just as he was, funny, full of life and running around as if the world was his oyster and he was the king of his world.  I see glimpses of that every so often, so maybe it's just a matter of time and the answer to my question will be hell yes, we did the right thing. I pray that is the way it turns out.