I thought it would be a while before I felt the need to post something, but as it turns out, this would not be a very good journal of time without something every so often, and especially since it involves the mighty Diggie Dog.
It comes to mind how much I miss him during the day when I'm gone. In fact the first thing I think of when I'm coming home is that I can't wait for him to greet me, with his wagging tail; his front feet out in front of him with his butt in the air; or sometimes a soft little sound that is half howl and yawn, not quite a full greeting and of course his warm brown eyes looking up at me saying it's so good you are home. He usually sidles up to me with his body as close as he can get, all 11 pounds of him along my legs, so that I can pet him like crazy. It's such a great feeling to have him here and ok. He sometimes doesn't know I've come home because of his hearing loss and I can often sneak in and catch him in his bed in Bob's office, but sometimes he picks up cues his sister is giving out and knows that something is happening. He will greet me at the door then, especially if his sister Oreo begins a more insistent bark that is more like a heralding of the return of someone important. He seems to know to come to the garage door rather than the front door because his sister Oreo is not going to the front door but instead stays in the bedroom and barks her warning. A weird habit of hers that has no rhyme or reason to it, but it means that she knows someone is coming from the garage door and not the front door and she knows the difference. Mack must also know the same thing. ... But it doesn't happen all the time as it did before his surgery. He is like a beacon of light where you are drawn to it and that is my Mack. He is a true beacon of light and love.
For him I wish I knew what he thought about when we're not there, it would be fascinating to know. I don't imagine there is such a thing as boredom with them, but maybe I'm wrong...but I imagine that he lives for the time when we are there. In fact when I'm home, he has to be where I am. I don't know who said it but they said that because he is hard of hearing he will probably become more "needy" and "clingy" . I do see this in him; but I can't figure out why it's so important that he have me where he can see me at all times since he never did this before his surgery. I can only imagine that it has something to do with his hearing loss. If I leave a room, he comes with me, if I go to someplace in the house, he is there, if I sit down, he wants to be sitting next to me, if I lay down, he wants to be there as well. It is not particularly a "neediness" that is confining or bothersome, but you have a constant shadow beside you that makes you think what will I do when that shadow is gone? You can't help but think it and feel the desolation that goes along with that awful thought. I have had him since he was 8 months old and at this point it's been 13 years of greetings and love. How can you imagine not having it? I can't.
So today I'm thankful for that greeting of love. I am thankful that he gets his cues from his little sister and that even though he can't "hear" us at times, he still greets us with the same enthusiasm he did years before and before the surgery and hearing loss. Thankful that he is my little dog that wags his tail and sits as close as he can by me, as a reminder that he's still with us, still loving us, still needing us. I couldn't ask for more and believe me when I say, I look forward to the same greeting for years to come.
No comments:
Post a Comment